Too Many Not's !

Not Inspired,
Just in an emotional stream,
I went off testing my beliefs and dreams.

Not Knowing,
And still knowing it all,
I felt cud change what's there to fall.

Not Wanting,
And now no desires left,
I found myself alone and bereft.

Not Trying,
Just in a act of life,
Iam playing a daughter, sister and perhaps someday a wife.

Not Sad,Not Happy
Blurr seems to be the picture of me being lucky!

Now a days I admire my own patience
Hope sitting alone for long would give me answer for my silence.